That Dang NEEDED Lesson

That’s right. Not wanted. Not asked for. NEEDED.

Today, although not feeling particularly motivated, I actually got off my duff and have been doing some things. Let’s get the most accomplished thing out of the way…I showered!! That, on a day in which I don’t have to go anywhere or see the public is a rarity, ok? I have taken to the face cleansing, brush wetting hair, “I only wore it yesterday”, type of living. I’m not lazy, per se, but I definitely enjoy a much slower pace of life than offered. So, I’m clean – YAY!

As the Cleaning Lady (oh, that’s what I named the Roomba) was doing her thing, I realized that, as awesome as she is, she does not do stairs. And with kids and cats, that carpet traffic is R-E-A-L and I will take the time to do it. Mind you, since I now have a combined household with my mother, we have the Cleaning Lady for every single day cat cleanup, my vacuum as the downstairs vac, and her whopper vac as the upstairs one. This done specifically so there would never be a reason for her to lug a vacuum anywhere. But for the stairs, that whopper is the chosen one. The drone of the cleaning lady and of the whopper puts me totally in a zen state. I figure it is the adult manifestation of the the years as a child being driven in a car to fall asleep. That is serious! My mother had to threaten me, in order for me to get my license, which I desperately wanted at 16, I had to be able to stay awake in the car to the nearest town. You have to understand, at that point, I wasn’t seeing the 7 minute drive because I would get in a car and literally pass out within the first 3 minutes. It’s a desperate situation, but I usually do all of the driving now, so that is handled. No sleeping at the wheel. Put me in the passenger seat, I give you a few hours. Back seat? You have minutes.

I digress….

So in the vacuuming process, I decide that it should really be a deep cleaning of the stairs and the woodwork, railings, spindles, etc. Gladly I grab the orange spray and go to town! Not only will this wood be clean…it will be conditioned and in a gorgeous shiny state for the few hours prior to my children coming home with who-knows-what on their hands.

That’s when I hear him. He RARELY speaks to me. And when he does, it is profound and usually that-needed-lesson. Who is he? “He” is my Grandfather. My mom’s dad, who I grew up with basically being my own Dad. He was, and still is, the only person who is that larger than life figure. My oldest daughter is starting to get there, and I attribute that to him, too. Anyway, I had him, daily, for 24 years. He passed away 20+ years ago. Family members have spoken about dreaming about him, hearing him, talking to him, visiting his burial site, etc. Since his death, I have had 3 instances with him. 1) When my oldest was a very new born, I had a dream sitting with him at the kitchen table. He was in the red/black plaid shirt he often wore and had her neatly, safely, and lovingly tucked into his left arm. The ONLY interaction of that – “She won’t meet me, but she’ll KNOW me.”. 2) Moving into the house I bought and painting this same daughter’s room that she wanted painted the first weekend so she could occupy it, I am working like a madwoman and I hear, “Are you doing this fast or half fast (half-assed)?” To which I answered him OUT LOUD, “Really? THAT’S what you have to say to me?” My husband was like…”WHAT?!” I had to admit I wasn’t speaking to him. 3) Brings us to today. As I’m conditioning the wood, I hear it. Not his voice, but the lesson. Dad always used to tell me that good, manual labor, was praising God. I used to chalk it up to his obvious insanity from having 12 children and that he was turning into that crazy hermit dude who lives in the woods, off grid. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I am taking such care of this wood spindle – cleaning and conditioning – but I am not actively cleaning and conditioning my heart. How recently have I cleaned and conditioned myself in my faith? Have I actively sought God’s grace and forgiveness and thanked Him for my current (and past) everything? And here’s where the tears started…so violently and unintentional and truthful! THE NEEDED LESSON! In the cleaning of the wood, though? YES! YES! In the very hands on, caretaking of something so mundane, the needed lesson in my life. Freaking A – that dude was right….AGAIN!

That job being done, tears expelled and composure gained, I move onto vacuuming the corners where Cleaning Lady can’t get or deposits dirt while hitting the joint of two floor surfaces. Done and done, easy. But, hey, I’ve got the cleaner/conditioner out, let’s tackle the foyer so that the whole area is done. Cleaning, wiping, scrubbing, wiping, front door last, thinking about the lesson I just was schooled with, aaaaand step back. Take a gander to make sure it all looks……

A cross. The front door….has….the….cross. Now I’m getting a bit upset thinking I am being punk’d. So I start the trip around the house to check out all of the other doors. No. No. Nope. Nuh-uh. No. Nope. Are you freaking kidding me? Every other door either has a double cross thing or none at all. NO OTHER DOOR! Now……..now I’m in argue mode. “REALLY DAD?!?! You had to bring Grammy into this?!?! That’s a cheap move!” I can sense that this lesson is being forced upon me in ways that is overwhelming physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I got it the first time around, now you are calling in BACK UP??? That’s low, my man. See, my Grandfather had passed a few years prior to my mother and Grandmother deciding to update the house. Big ol’ renovation that my mom paid a lot into and gave my Grandmother carte blanche with what she wanted. So, he had nothing to do with it. This is a Gram project. And bless her soul, I had her daily for 40 years and miss her these years later. To give you some insight: each day, as a child, and I will assume way prior to my knowledge since I was the first grandchild and my mom is #2 of 12, when you walked out the front door, one if not both of my grandparents would say, “Praise God and bring joy to the world.” Like, to the point if you were leaving and *didn’t* hear that, you came back in the door to make sure they realized you were leaving. Now that it has been years without either of them here to say that to me, this was them saying it to me again.

I share this with you, clearly because it is my lesson, but maybe for it to be yours, too? Did you praise God today? Even if you aren’t a person of faith, did you bring joy to the world? How much time did you spend on your heart and spirit today? As much time as you spent cleaning your car? Watching the NBA playoffs? Time at work?

Like I said, these lessons aren’t chosen, often not sought out. That’s why they are so profound…and carry such gravitas. I am going to start having a very different day than planned. I pray that you have a beautiful and joyful day!!!