Firstly, I want to say Happy New Year to you all.
Now give me back 2018. As much as it totally blew chunks for most people, it was so much better than the first three days of this year for me. Seriously. I would do the whole year over again before I have to do any more of the same of this year’s nonsense.
Reason 1: Mother Nature
Dear psycho – please pick a temperature, weather pattern, how about SEASON, and adhere to it! My copays are not for your delight, nor is any other matter that I have to keep laying cash down for because my family can’t possibly stay healthy in 50 degrees/20 degrees/snow/summer/rain-soaked insanity. Stop the nonsense…NOW!
Reason 2: Toddler Insomnia
We had to take the baby out of the crib on sheer measures of safety because climbing out of a bed is much easier to tolerate than the gymnastics routine that was her getting out of her crib. And on that note, I have been awake about 30 of the 36 hours of the year. And I hate everyone. I am a very politically correct and equal opportunity player when I am exhausted. Every single person on the planet sucks. Every. Single. One.
So if you are looking for my normal chipper, happy-go-lucky self, go look for her in 2018 because the baby clearly has her locked up as a POW of this operation called bed training and sleep regression. And to think, I willingly agreed to this? That’s the “parent stupidity” thing kicking in again. You don’t “forget”. Dear goodness me don’t ever tell a woman that she forgot what it was like. She tends to have a self-inflicted lobotomy about what it all entails. But trust me, that all comes flooding back in a nanosecond when you are going through the sauce.
Reason 3: School break ended/school started back up
Yeah, as much as parents complain about their kids being on break, I am the opposite. If they are on break, I too am on break.
So when that stops, it stops for me. I have to admit that I let my guard down this year. I fell quickly into the lack of extracurricular activities. I fell into the ‘no alarm’ thing. And wouldn’t you know that I am paying for it with my *soul*! God bless my oldest who has always been easy as pie. As a high schooler, she has the early bus ride because school is 30 minutes away. She had herself in bed at 8:30 the night before resuming because she knew getting up again would be hard. How smart is that?
Not this idiot.
I was up until midnight because I was so exhausted I couldn’t sleep. Then up twice for stretches of time due to Reason 2. So by the time my alarm went off to get up to be with the Big, I was hallucinating. And it continued all day. Still is continuing. Did Big Bird just walk past my house? But I digress. I literally forgot mom taxi mode. And I am paying for it *sigh*
Reason 4: Can I get an amen?
I love my faith and the freedom that I have to practice it. But I am going to have to say that all of these holidays and days of obligation had me living in the pews. Mass Sunday. Check. Mass Monday night for Christmas. Check. Mass Sunday. Check. Mass Tuesday for the Solemnity of Mary. Check. Wait….wasn’t I just here? I will put it all in the books as workout time because wrestling with a baby while standing/sitting/kneeling and trying to pay attention and get the blessings TOTALLY counts as a workout. So I guess I can cross off that resolution. You’re not getting my money judgement free zone because I can pay, get a workout, AND my soul correct at the same time. In all seriousness, God is good all the time and all the time God is good. He is the center of this family.
So let us start this day with me getting the 2 hours of sleep that seems to be the norm for 2019. I truly hope yours is grand and successful and joyous and generous. I will most likely be staring at walls and firing no synapses. My lack of response to anything really isn’t because I hate you, it is due to the fact that my brain can’t process anything outside of keeping my heart pumping and my lungs contracting and expanding. When involuntary processes turn into conscious decision…NASA, we have a problem. She’s going down for the last time, Cap’n! What other phrases can I use to evoke the image of a mass of a human ditching hard?
Because that is what will be happening. I hope the baby naps today, because this will be the one day in my parenting life that I will stop all other life events and “nap while the baby naps”.
Wishing you a happy, healthy, safe year! Seriously!! Now I am going back to my bed to stare at the ceiling.